Of Utter Religious Nonsense
Once in a while, I come across pieces of writing that are so vile and repulsive it makes my blood boil to my very core. This time round, it is a reply to a letter on No Greater Joy Ministries that I caught off Daylight Atheism, and you can read Ebon Muse’s take on it here.
In this particular case, a friend of a woman trapped in an verbally and mentally abusive marriage writes in to the authors of the website asking for advice. She tells of how her friend’s seven year old child is already an “emotional wreck” and asks whether her friend should push ahead with her divorce. And the reply is truly horrifying; I am going to go to the extent to say that it is pure, unadulterated evil. I have posted a few excerpts below.
Debi Pearl, one of the authors, starts off her reply with ” The Scripture makes it very clear how God feels about divorce, He hates it. It is an Old Testament passage, but God has not changed his mind. He still hates divorce. It is not His will, it wasn’t so from the beginning, and it is not so today.” She makes it very clear from the start that the woman should not get a divorce, since God hates divorce.
And then she goes on to threaten her children. “There is no promise in Scripture to spare your children if you leave your lost husband….. They hate us. My divorce was wrong. Oh if only…” God didn’t destroy that family. He didn’t cause those many lives to be lost. It was the principle of what you sow you will reap.” Putting it in less honeyed tones, it means if you get a divorce, your children are going to hate you. It is your deserved retribution for not staying by your man.
She goes on to teach women to be submissive. “He will see her giving up her rights and not taking offense when he knows he has wronged her. He will see she honors him, obeys him, treats him with respect, and serves him with a non-rebellious, non-resistant attitude….. she doesn’t puff up and talk incessantly in criticism of him….. sees she is wise with what little money he gives her….. He tries her; he deliberately tempts her into hurt or anger; he judges her unfairly; he demands things of her that he knows embarrasses her, yet she is in subjection to him in all things. And in the end, she wins him by her chaste conversation.” In other words, she’s supposed to be a servant with no rights, seen but not heard and take all forms of abuse as an act of faith.
Furthermore, any suffering these women might perceive might just be a deception! Do not trust what you see or feel! “I would remind you that in the verse that records the sowing and reaping we are warned not to be deceived. It is easy to be deceived by our feelings and what we see….. Eve felt that way once. We, as with Eve, think that the will of God stands in the way of our freedom and peace. We believe that due to our unusual circumstances, we are an exception.”
She even goes as far to say that even if you lead a better life after the divorce, you are still a failure, because you caused God to fail (Ironic that an omnipotent God can fail huh). “Divorce followed by the most wonderful second marriage is still a failure, and will be throughout eternity….. Divorce is not just your failure, it becomes the failure of God to triumph in those circumstances.”
The other co-author of the website has equally vile things to say, first by romanticising jail. “I visit prisons every week. It is a great place to mull over the consequences of one’s deeds. And I have never met a prisoner that turned down a visit from anyone. Think about it, lady; it is a great time for writing love letters and sharing a three-minute romantic phone call once a week. Guys who get out of prison run straight home to their ladies and treat them wonderfully—for a while anyway.” Prison is a vessel for romance!!! And they will treat you nicely for a while after their term ends! Maybe they should hold speed dating sessions there.
And when your husband sexually abuses the children, you should still receive him with open arms. “Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution.” Be damned what the traumatised children might think or feel. Stay by your man.
Imagine women all mentally and emotionally vulnerable from their abusive marriages accepting such contemptible advice that come under the guise of religion. Imagine the children becoming true emotional wrecks as they watch daily how their mother submits herself and them to the father’s abuse. Imagine the number of lives that could have been changed for the better had these women crying for help obtained good advice. Imagine the number of lives that could be and have been destroyed by such foul rubbish.
At least most murderers only take a life each.
I guess the advice was really bad advice. But as a christian, maybe I make things clearer abit because the Christian who offered that advice was probably not very wise and logical-minded.
It is true that divorce is not encouraged in the Bible. But if the relationship turns abusive and intolerable, temparary separation might be wise for relevant counsel and help to kick in. Hopefully, things may work out well..Or else, a separation will be good.
Regarding submissiveness of wives to husbands, it is also mentioned in the bible. But this shouldnt be treated as blind submissiveness. That is rather extreme. It should be in a hierachical relationship based on respect and love. But that doesnt mean wives are weaker sex or whatsoever. Just that the bible indicates that women subject to husbands to draw a parallel that the church submits to christ.
Cheers=)
Hmmm I don’t know about the submissiveness and hierachy part but otherwise I do agree with you. What angers me more than the content itself is that the authors assume a position of authority on the matter and some people do seem to believe in what they say. It’s really rather maddening.